Suicide Haikus

This will be an initial dump of insights I've already captured. More will inevitably proceed. These are written in chronological order, during the last two years.

1. One more stinking day
Listening to the faucet drip.
But not tomorrow

2. What words will you say
The first time that somebody
Tells you that I'm gone?

3. Maybe I'll come back
Next time, as somebody
I don't loathe so much

4. My wife has grown fat;
I barely think of fucking;
35 more years?

5. What becomes of us
After we take our last breath?
I want to find out.

6. If given the choice
Never to have been conceived
I'd have taken it.

7. Life's a currency
Not only squandered on youth,
But also on me.

8. Most are terrified
To encounter the Beyond.
I can hardly wait.

9. This is just an itch
That has, over time, become
Irresistible.

10. I know you'll want to
Conjure some melodrama
That just isn't there.

11. What's to talk about?
Any words only bring shame
To what I have done.


12. In the war between
Dread and curiosity,
Dread prevailed, hands-down.

13. One thing that I'll miss:
The gawky way a heron
Saunters overhead.

14. Sorry for the mess
But I wanted to be sure;
Unlike the last time

15. There are bananas
Just to the left of the fridge.
They should be ripe now.

16. We're all gonna die.
At least I'm able to choose
How and where and when

June 16, 2008:

17. First I slashed my wrists.
This time, I blew my brains out
To remove all doubt.

18. I step in the sea
The water overcomes me
The waves, continue

July 20, 2008

19. Oh, give me a break!
Don't you dare for one minute
Take credit for this

20. You'll learn: sometimes jail
Has nothing at all to do
With a prison cell

July 29, 2008

21. Didn't want to, but
overwhelming impulses
managed to prevail


22. We only deal with
People because we have to
I prefer alone.

23. Even though I thought
Life was excruciating
I still will miss it.


9/14/08

24. Some deem suicide
Nothing more than cowardice.
Who are they to judge?

25. I left this note, as
It will take substantial time
To find my remains.

26. It should take more than
Handfuls of barbiturates
To make this all stop.

27. You heard it here first:
Over time, evolution
Eliminates thought.

28. We were meant to die
Far before the time when we
Actually grow old.

29. I have taken all
Of my trained belligerence
Out upon myself.

30. At some point, life
Always ends up looking like
Just another corpse

31. It is arrogance
That seduces us to think
We won’t be extinct.

32. Life’s an accident
Which by definition means
Death’s random as well

12/27/08
33. This is a gambit:
To expect resurrection
But if not? OK

1/18/09
I'm at my wit's end
My head's full of cicadas
I must make it stop

1/29/09
It's hard, when you learn
That in the Grand Scheme of Things,
There is no grand scheme