God's Boss

Movie idea:
God's boss. God's kicking total ass over some group he hates, like gays or Democrats, and he gets a phone call, and has to put it aside. It turns out, it's God's boss, and he's not pleased with the caprice God is exercising. it turns out, God is a problem employee, he's been on probation, and if he doesn't get it right with Earth and the human race, he faces a fate literally worse than death (he has to read every issue of "O" or something).

Here you go, Jim:

Another way of saying that everyone who is truly beautiful is profoundly goofy-looking in some way: "There is no excellent beauty, that hath not some strangeness in the proportion." Francis Bacon, Of Beauty

Suicide Haikus

1.
I never believed
The taste of a revolver
Would be quite so sweet.

2.
If this is a sin
It should be held on a par
With euthanasia

3.
If God did not want
Us to commit suicide,
We would not have minds.

4.
Some walk to the edge
Gaze below, and back away;
While others must jump.

New haiku (not suicide related, but reality-based)

Got to remember:
When farting with headphones on,
Others still can hear.

From YouTube's blood385, commenting and the commercial (and philosophical as well, no doubt) legitimacy of the Segway Wheelchair: "Only thing that would make this complete is if it ran off of bald eagle heads and diamonds."

That's a mouthful, blood.

Suicide Haikus

1.

Juan De Fuca Straits
Have very aggressive tides.
I doubt you'll find me.

2.

In three days I'll rise
And redeem humanity.
Oh wait! That's Jesus.

3.

Egomania
Is the sole motivator
For a note at all

4.

Self-immolation
Always seemed extreme to me.
Then I thought: why not?

5. (Not really a suicide haiku, but I like it anyway):

An owl and a snake
Fixate on a wounded mouse.
My money's on Owl.

Suicide Haiku

The rest of my life
Will only be a burden
To the ones I love

Obituary haiku

A Tacoma man
Removed his own appendix,
And then bled to death.

Suicide Haiku

Take I-15 North,
Second exit past Barstow.
That's where you'll find me.

More on facebook

Update: Here's a decidedly British take on the phenomenon as well. . . Thanks to MonkeySkull for the link.

There is something incredibly invasive about this whole "Web 2.0" stuff, isn't there? (Aside: Has "Web 2.0" already become a hoary, quaint reference to what's going on with the Web, akin to the "information superhighway" or "cyberspace"? It feels like it. . . )

Perhaps "invasive" is the wrong word, as it connotes an unwelcome intrusion. With the exception of a few embarrassing old pics posted by "friends" most of the information available Facebook, etc. was placed there by our own volition, and not the result of some overreaching third party digging up dirt on us. That this information occasionally amounts to an embarrassing or compromising disclosure is more a function of our inexperience with the forum--much like the regrettable "reply-all" email response, sending a snarky, petty or downright cruel comment to the very subject of our derision. I haven't made that error in a long time, not due to some change in technology, but because I have been chastened by prior indiscretions to do two things: one, be more thoughtful about what I say in email, and two: be more discreet about who's on the receiving end of my emails.

If our means of interacting social networking sites follows the same user arc as email, will we inevitably see a shift towards more circumspection and discretion on how far we open our virtual kimono in the future? I'm not sure what's left of the sites if we stop posting our public, multimedia, extemporized diaries online. Perhaps social networking is just enduring its initial novelty phase right now, much like answering machines did in their inception? Remember when telephone answering machines first hit the market, and a critical mass of persons had some clever ditty or schtick for their message, when now, you're hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't use some near-verbatim flavor of, "Hi, I'm not here, so leave a message" message? So which is it? Is facebook more like email, or more like the phone answering machine? Are we more interested in conveying information via facebook and twitter, or receiving information? Exactly what information are we trying to convey: how clever we can be (a la the early phone messages), or something that we'll ultimately deem to be more utilitarian? And just as important: what information are we trying to learn about our friends, loved ones, or coworkers when we use the sites? Are we scanning for scandal, or are we really that curious about the quotidian goings-on of everyone?

Because of facebook and its ilk, we may see people become more comfortable knowing more about people's otherwise "secret" lives--the lives they lead when we may not be looking. If that's the case, then the social networking sites will have an enormous impact on society: getting people to relax their double-standards, and understand that we all have skeletons, thoughts, desires, alternative lives. Eventually, we'll learn that kinky, freaky, corny, tacky thoughts and actions don't detract from our professional and interpersonal competencies--on the contrary, they inform and enrich them. The predilections of the politician, the schoolteacher, the preacher, the middle manager, the stockbroker, previously looked down upon as perversions, will instead be seen as part of the amalgam that makes any of us competent at work, love, leisure, compassion. It's not that difficult to envision a future where our facebook profile is the "first" impression somebody creates of friends or workmates, rather than a supplement to our offline impression of a person. We'll see. In any case, I'm looking forward to seeing what facebook becomes after the "answering machine jingle" novelty of it wears off.

Crazy songs stuck in my head over the past 24 hours

Some know me to have a mind capable of evoking idiosyncratic, cloying, and often just downright awful music without warning. The past few days have been particularly rife with bad music. Here they are, in [reverse chronological] order:

Some horrible song by the hair band "Fastway."
"I've got a brand new pair of roller skates," by Melanie Safka (I had to look that one up);
"Woman" by John Lennon, off of Double Fantasy (a gawdawful album if there ever was one)
"Silly Love Songs," By Paul McCartney (hmm, I'm noticing a theme of bad music composed by Beatles well past their prime. At least Lennon had enough grace to get murdered before he could really fall off the deep end of creative blight).
"Theme from Magnum PI"
"Sweet Gypsy Rose," by Tony Orlando and Dawn.

A lesser man would die from such thoughts.

Movies I want to see

Goodbye, Solo (Life of a Senegalese cab driver in NC)
Wendy and Lucy (Woman and her dog lost in Oregon, en route to Alaska)
Cold Souls (Woody-Allenesque Giamatti vehicle. That's good enough for me right there)
Shall we Kiss? (lighthearted french romantic comedy)
The Education of Charlie Banks (coming-of-age film, directed by Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst)
I love you Man
Monsters vs. Aliens
Tokyo Sonata (Willie Loman-esque study of Japanese corporate culture, from what I can tell. . .)

New suicide haiku

The riot of life
Is a mere outlier from
Equilibrium

New Haiku

First came the ascent.
The fall was not far behind.
I embrace them both.

New suicide haiku

I am not afraid
Because I have played this hand
As far as it goes

New suicide haiku

I don't know that I
Understand what happy is,
But it isn't this.

Words we need

We need a word for the guilt one feels when accepting someone as a "friend" on a social network even though we really don't like the person.

Suicide Haikus

This will be an initial dump of insights I've already captured. More will inevitably proceed. These are written in chronological order, during the last two years.

1. One more stinking day
Listening to the faucet drip.
But not tomorrow

2. What words will you say
The first time that somebody
Tells you that I'm gone?

3. Maybe I'll come back
Next time, as somebody
I don't loathe so much

4. My wife has grown fat;
I barely think of fucking;
35 more years?

5. What becomes of us
After we take our last breath?
I want to find out.

6. If given the choice
Never to have been conceived
I'd have taken it.

7. Life's a currency
Not only squandered on youth,
But also on me.

8. Most are terrified
To encounter the Beyond.
I can hardly wait.

9. This is just an itch
That has, over time, become
Irresistible.

10. I know you'll want to
Conjure some melodrama
That just isn't there.

11. What's to talk about?
Any words only bring shame
To what I have done.


12. In the war between
Dread and curiosity,
Dread prevailed, hands-down.

13. One thing that I'll miss:
The gawky way a heron
Saunters overhead.

14. Sorry for the mess
But I wanted to be sure;
Unlike the last time

15. There are bananas
Just to the left of the fridge.
They should be ripe now.

16. We're all gonna die.
At least I'm able to choose
How and where and when

June 16, 2008:

17. First I slashed my wrists.
This time, I blew my brains out
To remove all doubt.

18. I step in the sea
The water overcomes me
The waves, continue

July 20, 2008

19. Oh, give me a break!
Don't you dare for one minute
Take credit for this

20. You'll learn: sometimes jail
Has nothing at all to do
With a prison cell

July 29, 2008

21. Didn't want to, but
overwhelming impulses
managed to prevail


22. We only deal with
People because we have to
I prefer alone.

23. Even though I thought
Life was excruciating
I still will miss it.


9/14/08

24. Some deem suicide
Nothing more than cowardice.
Who are they to judge?

25. I left this note, as
It will take substantial time
To find my remains.

26. It should take more than
Handfuls of barbiturates
To make this all stop.

27. You heard it here first:
Over time, evolution
Eliminates thought.

28. We were meant to die
Far before the time when we
Actually grow old.

29. I have taken all
Of my trained belligerence
Out upon myself.

30. At some point, life
Always ends up looking like
Just another corpse

31. It is arrogance
That seduces us to think
We won’t be extinct.

32. Life’s an accident
Which by definition means
Death’s random as well

12/27/08
33. This is a gambit:
To expect resurrection
But if not? OK

1/18/09
I'm at my wit's end
My head's full of cicadas
I must make it stop

1/29/09
It's hard, when you learn
That in the Grand Scheme of Things,
There is no grand scheme

Cool shot

This image was taken from Voyager, nearly 30 years ago. Back then, just eight years after we had first walked on the moon, it seemed as though we'd be seeing pics of man walking on Mars by now. Things have really stalled in that department, though. It's hard to imagine looking back at earth from this vantage. I'm reminded of a road trip, where a landmark like Mt. Rainier fades from view behind you, and new landmarks emerge in front of you.

Dance for me, boy!

There's a part of me that kind of feels sorry for McClellan, and the ridiculous positions of this White House that he's enjoined to defend. But that sentiment passes quickly, when I remember that he's just a shill, and he could leave on principle whenever the duplicity and lying become too much for him. But you have to love this exchange from yesterday's press conference:

Q Scott, the President told Brit Hume that he thought that Tom DeLay is not guilty, even though the prosecution is obviously ongoing. What does the President feel about Scooter Libby? Does he feel that Mr. Libby --

MR. McCLELLAN: A couple of things. First of all, the President was asked a question and he responded to that question in the interview yesterday, and made very clear what his views were. We don't typically tend to get into discussing legal matters of that nature, but in this instance, the President chose to respond to it. Our policy regarding the Fitzgerald investigation and ongoing legal proceeding is well-known and it remains unchanged. And so I'm just not going to have anything further to say. But we've had a policy in place for a long time regarding the Fitzgerald investigation.

Q Why would that not apply to the same type of prosecution involving Congressman DeLay?

MR. McCLELLAN: I just told you we had a policy in place regarding this investigation, and you've heard me say before that we're not going to talk about it further while it's ongoing.

Q Well, if it's prejudging the Fitzgerald investigation, isn't it prejudging the Texas investigation with regard to Congressman DeLay?

MR. McCLELLAN: Again, I think I've answered your question.

Q Are you saying the policy doesn't apply?

Q Can I follow up on that? Is the President at all concerned that his opinion on this being expressed publicly could influence a potential jury pool, could influence public opinion on this in an improper way?

MR. McCLELLAN: I think that in this instance he was just responding to a question that was asked about Congressman DeLay, about Leader DeLay, and in terms of the issue that Peter brings up, I think that we've had a policy in place, going back to 2003, and that's a White House policy.

Q But that policy has been based in part, in the leak investigation and other things, on the idea that it is simply wrong for a President to prejudge a criminal matter, particularly when it's under indictment or trial stage. Why would he --

MR. McCLELLAN: And that's one -- this is an ongoing investigation regarding possible administration officials. So I think there are some differences here.

Q There are lots of times when you don't comment on any sort of legal --

MR. McCLELLAN: There are also legal matters that we have commented on, as well. And certainly there are legal matters when it goes to Saddam Hussein.

Q So the President is inconsistent?

MR. McCLELLAN: No, David, we put a policy in place regarding this investigation --

Q But it's hypocritical. You have a policy for some investigations and not others, when it's a political ally who you need to get work done?

MR. McCLELLAN: Call it presidential prerogative; he responded to that question. But the White House established a policy --

Q Doesn't it raise questions about his credibility that he's going to weigh in on some matters and not others, and we're just supposed to sit back and wait for him to decide what he wants to comment on and influence?

MR. McCLELLAN: Congressman DeLay's matter is an ongoing legal proceeding --

Q As is the Fitzgerald investigation --

MR. McCLELLAN: The Fitzgerald investigation is --

Q -- As you've told us ad nauseam from the podium.

MR. McCLELLAN: It's an ongoing investigation, as well.

Q How can you not -- how can you say there's differences between the two, and we're supposed to buy that? There's no differences. The President decided to weigh in on one, and not the other.

MR. McCLELLAN: There are differences.

Q And the public is supposed to accept the fact that he's got no comment on the conduct of senior officials of the White House, but when it's a political ally over on the Hill who's got to help him get work done, then he's happy to try to influence that legal process.

MR. McCLELLAN: No, not at all. Not at all. You can get all dramatic about it, but you know what our policy is.